Sunday, November 27, 2005


today's view from my window - the house of setting sun:)

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Не плачь любимый

Здравствуй мой любимый
Здравствуй и прощай
Ничего сегодня мне не обещай
Все что было раньше
Чисто и светло
Нынче же над нами
Черное крыло

Ты не плачь, не плачь любимый
Плакать буду я
Видно ты моя
Доля горькая
Доля долюшка судьба

Есть кому лелеять
Есть кому обнять
Только в сердце место
Некому занять

Ты не плачь, не плачь любимый
Плакать буду я
Видно ты моя
Доля горькая
Доля долюшка судьба

Не хочу я воли
Просто отпусти
Не хочу я боли
Ты мне боль прости

/Марина Хлебникова/

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Cultural shock?

Yesterday participated in “Intercultural Training” a workshop by BISS.. When the trainer read the list of symptoms of stress from handout, i was checking what i’ve experienced in germany. At the end i had everything checked!!!!! F koz not all variants from every symptom i had, like under weight probs loosing or gaining – mine was loosing; eating probs – i had loss of appetite & not increase.. etc.

3rd part ot training was a simulation. We were divided into 3 groups, an “aborigines” & 2 diff/conflicting groups of newcomers (we were aliens:P). we were given certain codes of behavior, background, culture, values, & should play according to them, the others don’t know them, we can judge only from the way we act in the simulation, when we all meet in aborigines’ land. The developments of events & reactions were shocking! Our group of higher intelligence scientific society was refused! We came with good will, with knowledge if we don’t stop the global warming together, everyone’s world will be destroyed, everyone will die.. & aborigines are primitive tribe, who can only dance, sing, laugh… we were perceived as enemy, not as friends who want to warn & help, only koz of cultural conflicts! We don’t understand emotions, don’t show/have them, aborigines are full of emotion, they greet touching nooses, we can’t let them so close, as in our culture their red color is taboo, they alter our personal space, for them we’r not friendly, cold…. We forgot that it was just a game!! & everyone in their role was acting, attacking, protecting… if it was a real case, the world wouldn’t be saved, just koz of MISUNDERSTANDINGS!! Another story was with the 3rd group.. i can talk days telling about that simulation result, discussions after it.. but one should just experience it oneself! It was so amusing.. then we all told what we felt, why we acted like that in this & that moment, what could have than better, could save the situation.. we had a chance to put ourselves in the shoos of “aborigines” – the hosts, who were living their life in their land & suddenly so diverse strangers INVADE & they can’t even understand why, what they want from them.. this game thought to be more tolerant, try to understands others, in my current case towards germans & other int’l students..

Resuming last study year in Germany.. it was total catastrophe. Personal life, health, study, career, social life.. just everything! Complete failure. Why?? & this was 1st time in life that i was financially, socially secured by a nice monthly scholarship, didn’t have to so hardly as before earn my living. 1st time living in a clean, green, beautiful county.. with a rich culture, with so much comfort, with highest living standards i’ve ever lived! All conditions were just ideal, i couldn’t even dream of.. then why it went so wrongly? Wondering where is my brain, where r my skills, where is my energy, where am i?????? why in germ i lost everything instead of gaining smth??

Negative experience can also be useful. One should learn to loose, to fall & get up, to keep rolling up his/her sizif’s stone… it still gives us strength, training, knowledge, skills.. & next time we face such a situation, we won’t get lost, we’ll know how to cope. Yes, i have problems, i am experiencing cultural shock. Just sit down & clear things out.

Well… Traveling never caused me any shock. Meeting new ppl, learning new places, crossing borders & cultures, taking smth with u, in exchange leaving a touch of ur own culture, own self, learning, experiencing, & again learning, growing as a personality.. little things i can recall that i enjoy more than these.
But. Cultural shock is not abt traveling, it’s when u’r thrown into a completely new environment that conflicts with ur previous one, ur culture, experience… & u have to LIVE, WORK, STUDY & COMPETE in that environment & with ppl who’r originally from there. unlike u, they know everything around, they know how to do things, how to react in all situations, how things work etc in THEIR PLACE (country, city, uni..). it all give them a huge advantage over u. but u have to play by their rules, compete as if u’r in the same level.. this all can be justification why i did so badly here.. then comes another question: why i did great in USA?? The conditions were the same as in germ, & the competition was even tougher . It was same me, my same brain, my skills/knoledge that at the time were even less than now..

i have a big prob, my brain thinks much faster than i’m able to speak out or write down. I wasted myself till was typing:))) thought by myself, told myself all i needed.. & now gotta wash dishes, will continue later:)

Monday, November 07, 2005

Take It As It Comes

Time to live
Time to lie
Time to laugh
Time to die

Take it easy baby
Take it as it comes
Don't move too fast if you want
your love to last
You've been movin' much too fast

Time to walk
Time to run
Time to aim your arrows
At the sun

Take it easy baby, Take it as it comes...

Go real slow
You'll like it more and more
Take it as it comes
Specialize in havin' fun

Take it easy baby
Take it as it comes
Don't move to fast if you want
you're love to last
You've been movin' much to fast
Movin' much to fast